Man visits doc ~
Man: I'm having incredible pain in my lower abdomen
Dr: Doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you. Try more fiber and some pain pills.
...weeks later
Man: The pain in my abdomen is getting really intense
Dr: Hmm. Everything seems to check out okay. Try a multi-vitamin and stronger pain pills.
months later in E.R.
Man: I feel like something is going to burst
Dr: Small tumor but nothing to worry about - it should pass on its own. Take this mouthful of pills. If it continues, we can go in and cut up your intestines and sew them back up
weeks later in hospital
Dr: I give you six months tops. Start saying goodbye to your loved ones. I'm so sorry sir - if only we could have found this earlier.
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Man visits doc ~
Man: I'm having very severe pain in my lower back
Dr: Doesn't seem to be anything major wrong. Here's some extremely strong pain medication with very dangerous side-effects. Could just be pulled muscles from your cough. Ta...ke a mouthful of muscle-relaxers each day as well.
later at the pharmacy:
Pharmacist: This medicine when taken with the prescriptions you are already on can seriously harm you. Is your doctor aware of this?
Man: I think so.
Pharmacist: okay, $75
week later in E.R.
Dr: Let's get you on some heavy medication for the pain. Meanwhile, we'll run some tests and look for kidney stones. Get some rest.
Man grimacing in pain: I feel like I'm going to die.
Dr. chuckling: No, no - once that morphine kicks in you'll feel a whole lot better
two days later, rushed back into E.R.
Dr: Well the tests for stones came up negative so that's good.
Man: I haven't been able to shit in over a week and I feel like my insides are going to burst.
Dr: This can happen with the pain meds you are on. I'll prescribe you a very strong prescription-strength laxative to take along with the percocet from now on.
Man: What about the pain in the lower back
Dr: I'll up the dosage of percocet
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